My Spiritual Awakening

I began blogging just over 2 weeks ago. I was always hesitant in doing it for believing I did not have anything of revelance to write about and no one would show interest in what I had to say anyway. Being irrationally fearful yet again of something unknown, which I knew had no merit! In the last 2 weeks of my life however, I have come to an understanding of myself, that I had abandoned the belief's I clung to as a child, as there was no instant gratification granted me by God.

The ethos of "Pay it Forward" and the "Binary Code"(putting yourself second and helping other's first) was not, as a child, a factor in my life yet and although it had been explained to me it, through the teachings of Jesus Christ, I did not fully understand its meaning in my life until now. If you give to other's without any expectation of reward in return, and work hard and treat other's as you would have treated yourself, letting your conscience be your guide, God would give you the Gift's of life you so earnestly seeked. However, to receive the "Rewards of Heaven", you always need to remain humble and grateful in what you receive, and not let the 7 deadly sins consume you. This is the formula to a successful and rewarding life of pleasure that God would grant you on Earth.

As a child I had come across a Psalm of David. It's Psalm 63. I never understood the affinity I had toward this Psalm until today. It's the Psalm of David when he was in The Desert Of Judah.

Psalm 63 -

 

 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
  my soul thirsts for you;
 my flesh faints for you,
  as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
  beholding your power and glory.
 Because your steadfast love is better than life,
  my lips will praise you.
 So I will bless you as long as I live;
  in your name I will lift up my hands.
 My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
  and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
 when I remember you upon my bed,
  and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
 for you have been my help,
  and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
 My soul clings to you;
  your right hand upholds me.
 But those who seek to destroy my life
  shall go down into the depths of the earth;
 they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
  they shall be a portion for jackals.
 But the king shall rejoice in God;
  all who swear by him shall exult,
  for the mouths of liars will be stopped.

 

I grew up without a father. What I realised today when I read this again, for the first time in years since I was a teenager, is how strikingly applicable the words are to my life right now. And the fact that they always have been. I had in my childhood recited this Psalm as a calling to the physical father I never had. I had taken my Spiritual Father for granted and abandoned him. In reality though my physical father and Spiritual Father are one in the same. God!

 

I lost this belief through the trials and tribualtions of life. I got sidetracked by the responsibilty of having to pay a morgage, insurance premiums, higher purchase agreements etc and the stress all that induces in your life. I denied His existance for He denied my prayers. I was wrong,!!! He was ALWAYS THERE!!! I had lost focus of my life and it's purpose. I was only reminded of this over the weekend again when I believed falsely that I would be abandoned again. In my blog last night my fear of loneliness surfaced. This is when I realised He was always with me no matter what. When I missed my physical father, He was there to comfort and support me and give me guidance and light.

 

I had cried tonite when I read this Psalm. As I sat down to dinner and give thanks to Him, a Thunderstorm started and the Heaven's opened and rain began to fall....

PS: Since I started blogging I have had 3118 pageviews to date. I am TRULY humbled and honoured by the interest and support I have received! Thanks be to you and God!