Dos

Enter my housemate. Mr G and I decided last minute, as we'd both been couped up at home over what is a long weekend to go out for a drink last night. We may as well have stayed indoors. After driving around for over an hour doing the scenic route of the Hi-ways and Bi-ways of the City of Gold, were again let down by the non-existence of gay culture in this city. The night before a public holiday and everything was closed! What the fuck is wrong with gay culture in this city? I've been wondering this for some time and am no closer to an answer than I was to having a drink last night! I'm sure if I was in Europe or the US there would have been parties rocking all over the place....but I'm in Africa and we're being starved of our own culture and identity. Ironically today is Heritage Day in South Africa....gays here unfortunately have NOTHING to celebrate!

I've woken up with somewhat of an epiphany this morning. It would seem my life lesson's happen in two's. I'm an avid bodybuilder and we try and avoid injuries like the plague. However, within the last year I've managed to tear the ACL of my left leg and last week tore the Achilles Tendon and Gastrocnemius of my right. In chatting to people who've suffered set-back's such as this I was surprised to hear that one injury is generally followed closely in succession by another. Which got me to thinking about other events in my life. Two Saturday's ago, I fired two clients for more or less the same reason. People who expect the moon and the stars and deliver nothing in return. I'm done with that bullshit and will from now on not budge on my terms and conditions under which I operate as a Personal Trainer. That thought led onto my car. I drive a Renault, which I'm sure hates me, but as the French are so stylish and she does drive like a bat out of hell I'm doing all I can to keep her. However, in the last two years she's had to two very expensive services. Both of the services have cost next to the equivalent of a small country's GDP. If things happen in two's then the shit she's given me should be over and I'll be getting nothing but happy miles and smiles from here on out...

In my personal relationships I've loved at first sight twice and I've come to fall in love twice. My longest two relationships have been where I've come to love that person deeply and intimately. Those were relationships which lasted. Love at first sight has burned me twice. My first long-term relationship was with a woman. Yes, I knew I was gay from a young age, but being brought up in a homophobic environment and me not wanting to associate with other femme-fatale gays, I thought I'd please everyone around me and take the straight road. The straight road led to a dead end and I was forced to make a decision...I went off road!

Which eventually led to my second longest relationship, however it was my first same sex one! A Scorpio and Leo(me) tied together in head to head battle on a daily basis. I put it down to me searching for my gay identity and not knowing where or how I fitted into this world. Was kinda like Bright Lights Big City Syndrome. I was not comfortable with who I was yet and only coming out of the closet late wanted to spread wings and fly...but like Icarus flew to close to the sun so did I and the relationship ended. 

What followed is "Clash of the Titans" and "Wrath of the Gods". Deception and deceit on a Grande scale. Love at first sight, which turned out blind. The first was a bodybuilder who I aspired to look like. The second a younger man I probably was trying to relive my lost gay youth through. Both managed to pull the wool over my eyes. But I've learned my lesson and through this experience have actually found out who I am and what I'm capable of. These experiences taught me the lesson of standing up for myself and not letting anyone take advantage of me. I will not be burned again.

So shit happens in two's with me. I'm mentally aware of this now. Ying and yang. Balance in my life and the universe. My "Inception"  has manifested so I'm better prepared to take on the road ahead. I have a full schedule this morning and have a new client starting. Looking forward to the day. Time to have breakfast on get on with the job....