Wednesday 28 November 2012

Blessed

Blessed are the merciful, For they will receive mercy. - Matt 5:7

I have raised the White Flag with The Lord! He has shown me the error of my ways. I have submitted to His Power and Dominion over me and The World. I have asked for His Mercy and He has provided it to me. For too long I have denied Him, and that which he provides me. He is the Source of Supply for everything in my life. In ALL our lives!

I have been under immense personal pressure of late. Probably the worst year I have endured in a LONG time. The University Fees of Life can be expensive. Not just financially, but Spiritually. When life treats us well, we tend to forget that it is He who is providing all we need and want. We only ever turn to Him when the going gets tough. Instead of acknowledging Him all the time, we only turn to Him when things are going wrong. God is not a "Fairweather Friend"! He is with us through the good and the bad. The only difference being that we fail, at times, to acknowledge Him in our prosperous years.

I can understand His frustration with us on this. He keeps giving and giving, and we keep taking advantage of His Benevolence. We've all had friends, family, even loved ones, that have taken us for a ride. Shown no gratitude for all that we have done for them. A little thank you would have gone a long way in showing appreciation for that which we provided them. Some acknowledgement for the good we have done, would make us feel better about ourselves, instead of feeling like we've been robbed. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. It's the times we don't get appreciated ,that we feel aggrieved. God works under similar rules. It's when we show no or little appreciation for Him, that He leaves us. It's at this point when, when He has had enough of us ignoring Him, that he drops us, and all hell breaks loose in our lives!

We are forced to look inwards at ourselves, and realise that without Him we are nothing. We cannot survive without Him! Some people do, some don't. It's to your own detriment that you do not acknowledge Him!

God wants us to live our lives in Love and Happiness. But you do so, ALWAYS, in Honour of Him!

God Bless You! God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit be with You...ALWAYS!!!!

Monday 26 November 2012

Tested

My life is being stripped away from me. I have not blogged for almost 2 weeks, because of my negative state of mind surrounding everything going on around me. I got "Carrie" back 2 weeks ago Friday, and thought that my troubles were a thing of the past, and that the road ahead would smoothen out. I was wrong! The following Sunday she decided to start her shit AGAIN!!! It shifted my mindset into the negative. My focus on Life, and what's IMPORTANT, was once again hi-jacked by my car and resulting financial crisis.

I have been frustrated, at times depressed and even angry. I've had harsh words with God. His response, as with any parent disciplining an unruly child, was to eek out harsher punishment. Along with my car giving me hassles, He has put me deeper in the pressure cooker, in that I will need to find another place to live by the end of the week, otherwise I will be homeless. It's a disconcerting place to be! I'm without a car, a place to call my own, and I'm not actually in a position to afford either! But I know my Faith in Him and the Universe is being put to the test.

All that the hardships of life deal us, is a test from God, to determine the strength of your Faith in Him! The bullshit that is flung at us, is done to see if we loose our focus and Belief in Him. We become so distracted by the shit, that we start to forget the good! Like any relationship we have amongst ourselves, nothing is ever always roses. It's the compost in the soil that makes them flower so beautifully! The hard relationships that we have, are the ones that teach us so much about ourselves. It's when we are challenged that our true nature shines! That we are able to achieve a Higher Consciousness of ourselves and those around us. It's the difficult relationships we have, that we need to value most. You either swim or drown. I choose to swim and Believe, even though the waters are above my head. It's easier to give up, it takes Faith to go through.

The test of strong Spirituality is to remain calm in the face of adversity. Instead of focusing on the negative turn to the good. Be grateful for that which you have. I have loving and supportive friends and family. I'm blessed with a great physique, with which I am able to work, earn a living and inspire others. For all this and more, I am TRULY GRATEFUL TO HIM!!!




A couple weeks ago a friend emailed me something which I share with you now. I was not aware, until today, when I was messaged by another friend, that I became aware of the TRUE significance of the message.

A Conversation With GOD!

Me: God, can I ask you a question?

God: Sure.
Me: Promise you won't get mad?
God: I promise.
Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do you mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late.
God: Yes.
Me: My car took forever to start.
God: Okay.
Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait.
God: Hmmm.
Me: On the way home my phone went dead just as I picked up a call.
God: Okay.
Me: And on top of all that, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in
my new foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right
today! Why did you do that?
God: Well, let me see. The Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I
had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you
sleep through that.
Me: (humbled): OH...
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your
route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The person who made your first sandwich today was sick and I didn't
want you to catch what he has.
I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me: (embarrassed): Ok...
God: Your phone went dead because the person who was calling was going to
give false witness about what you said during that call. I didn't even let
you talk to them so that you would be covered.
Me: (softly) I see, God.
God: Oh, and that foot massager had a short that was going to throw out all
of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the
dark.
Me: I'm sorry God.
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me in all things, the good and the
bad.
Me: I will trust you.
God: And don't doubt that MY plan for your day is always better than your
plan.
Me: I won't, God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything
today.
God: You're welcome, child. It was just another day being your God, and I
love looking after my children.


Be content with what you have, because God has said "Never will I Leave you, never will I Foresake you." Hebrews 13:5

God Bless You for God Be With You!

Wednesday 14 November 2012

STUCK!!!

I am stuck! LITERALLY! Life as we know it is not moving forward for me. There are 3 apects to my life at this moment...My Work, My Personal Life and My Spiritual Awakening! All 3 are demanding attention, some more than other's. I feel like I'm in a vice-grip that is getting tigher by the day...There has to be cohesion and balance in my life otherwise it does not flow.

My work is keeping me very busy, and I'm grateful for that as it is keeping me sane and grounded. I've always tried to keep my personal life seperate from my business and not burden my client's with my problems, but that has been very difficult to do of late. My car, "Carrie", decided Sunday that she has not finished toying with me. It has thrown my entire life into disarray. I've had endless problems with her this year. The effect is that finnacially, its placed me in a spiral of debt that is suffocating me. Not having a car is effecting how I work, and thus my income. It's also effecting my life in that I cannot do for myself what I need to. It's having a knock-on effect that is becoming overwhelming!

I'm hitting rock bottom. The burden of life seems insurmountable to me the last couple days. No matter what I do, it just seems like the hole is getting deeper. It's becoming a hard slog to get out of bed everyday and face life, but I know I must. The only thing keeping me going is my Faith in God. I know that I do not walk this path alone for He is with me. Yes, going through the stress that I'm dealing with is testing my Faith in Him and His Universe. In feeling the way I have of late, I was however, reminded by a quote a friend Tweeted today to stay on course: "Sometimes God allows you to hit rock bottom so that you will discover that He is the Rock at the bottom!"

God Bless!
.

Friday 9 November 2012

Love

My Spiritual Awkening continues...I have not been able to blog for the last couple of days, for I have immersed myself in the gaining of Knowledge through reading. The book I have have been reading(which My Guardians have Guided me to read) is "The Secret History of the World' by Jonothan Black. When I visited a psychic  a couple of weeks ago, she had advised me that the path to my Higher Power, lay in my accumulation of Knowledge through reading...

Everything I have read in this book makes perfect sense to me! From the Beginnings of Genesis, to today, and to what lies ahead! There are few books that I have read, that have had such a profound impact on my life and my way of thinking (I have mentioned others in my blog already). This has to be the Greatest Book (other than The Bible) I have ever read! It aligns every story of mankind through our history, as passed through The Ages, in a meaningful and truthful manner. Everything we have been taught to believe, we have been taught in isolation of everything else...Our glasses have been half empty...

About 800 years ago(8 being the number for New Beginnings), Richard the Lionheart, visited a hermit named Joachim, who, for many years, had failed to understand the Revelelations of St John. He awoke one day over Easter, being granted that which he sought. He was was Blessed with the "Theory of Three"! The Holy Father, The Holy Son and The Holy Spirit(for me this is The Singularity)! The Age of the Holy Father(Old Testament) called for Obidience and Fear, The Age of the Son(Jesus Christ -The New Testament) called for the age of Church and of Faith, he then prophecised that the Third Age, was to be that of the Holy Spirit(Love and Freedom). This would herald the return of Elijah, and the Messiah, and as a neccessary evil, the Anti-Christ!

The Mayan Calendar predicts the End of the World on 21/12/2012(Binary Code for me)! It heralds only the end of The Age of Pisces(Age of God The Son - Jesus Christ), which was precipitated by the Age of Aries(Age of God The Father), which is now to become The Age of Aquarius, that of The Age of The Holy Spirit(Freedom and Love)! The Holy Trinity is Complete!!!

Mankind is Destined to gain a Higher Conciousness in His Evolution...Thanks be to God, His Plan and His Word for this!

"Of The Greatst Gifts Man can give...Love is The Greatest!"

God Bless!

Monday 5 November 2012

"Carrie"

I've aptly named my car "Carrie", after the supernatural horror novel by Stephen King, which was also made into a movie of the same name. "Carrie" is a black Renault Megane Sport. She's sleek, good looking and fast. It was love at first sight when I saw her, and I faught tooth and nail to get her. I've had experience with love at first sight before. My last 2 relationships "Clash of the Titans" and "Wrath of the Gods" which did not fare so well.  In hindsight "Carrie" is actually the first love at first sight relationship I've had...

I have had endles shit with this car and it's just not letting up. It began 4 years ago with an accident, in which my open driver's door was removed from the body of the car, by a passing truck. Even my insurance company laughed! I did not think it so funny. From then on the the shit began. Shorty after getting her back from the panel beaters, the hand-brake went. Now normally you would just replace the cable, but no, car companies are now in the business of spare parts. You have to replace the ENTIRE mechanism, which does not come cheap. My car was under motor-plan, but when you read the small print, EVERYTHING falls under an Act of God, and therefore is NOT covered. A few month's after that, on a very cold August morning, my gear box seized. Again, repaired at my expense, at it was an Act of God! It was at this point that "Carrie" bites onto my wallet and does not let go!

The electronics on this car is something else. It has more wires running off the battery terimals than those that leave a power sub-station. I have had to replace the battery EVERY YEAR. And there is no warning when "Carrie" will decide it's time to replace it. You can be in the middle of no-where when she decides its such time. And yes, that has happened to me to. The key to this car is a very fancy credit card shaped key. How technology works for us now. But, you bend that card or get it anywhere near your cell phone, and the thing is rendered useless. I have to travel with a spare with me at all times. The key also works off a battery. If the key has no power then it is also rendered useless, so I keep spare batteries in the car now to! If the card/key reader does not "sense" the key has been inserted in the slot, you cannot start the car. Now I have been in "Tweebuffelsmeteenskootgeskietfontein" ie in the middle of fucking nowhere, not even cell phone reception, when this has happened. You can imagine how funny I found that situation to be! NOT!! Anyway, managed to get her towed back to civilisation and a Renault Service Centre. As luck would have it, my other spare key had broken and I did not replace it. So now I had to have a new one made. Which takes 3 weeks because it comes from France. I had to use the pick-up, from my then boyfriend's place of work, so I could at least get myself to work during that time.

The next thing to go was the clutch. Another Act of God that I had to foot the bill for. We're now close to me having spent the equivalent of a small nation's GDP to keep her on the road. In being a sports car, "Carrie" has low profile tyre's and also no spare wheel! She comes with two small canisters of "Tyre-Fix". South african roads are treacherous to say the least. Obviously her hard suspension and low profiles do not agree with our roads. I have had numerous tyre changes, and if it were an Olympic Sport, I would be the Gold Medal winner! Remember there is no spare, so you have to take the wheel off the car and take it to a Tyre-shop to have repaired, then back to the car and fit the repaired tyre. This eats into your time and just drives your frustration levels up. Being a sports car with a hard suspension, I have had to replace the engine mountings on her nearly every service.

So last year August, my key broke again and I also had to take her in for a service. When I got the quote of what needed to be done I was floored. I had thought it would be a minor service and the key. Well, I had to replace the steering column, all the wheel dics and shocks and a couple more things I'm sure the Service Centre made up just because they could. The bill was astronomical and maxed out both my credit cards. But it doesn't end there. This year in July, while driving back from Pretoria with a dead cell phone. She decided to run out of oil. Now you cannot drive a car without Black Gold otherwise your engine seizes. But, in considering this, driving in the early hours of the morning I think my safety more important that the car so I continued as far as I could. The engine seized. It took 6 weeks to reapair and has brought me to the brink of financial ruin. I got her back in August, and 2 days later had to have her towed back to the mechanic as my clutch cable broke. Get her back and 2 weeks later my car display lit up like a Christmas Tree. There was an issue with the battery and the alternator. So I had to have that fixed.

A couple weeks back in taking a friend home, I had another accident where the battle between "Carrie" and South African roads was lost. My mag wheel needed to be extensively reapaired and it took 2 weeks to do so. In that time, as there is no spare wheel and one could not be sourced, she has stood on bricks at a Petrol Garage.

 
 
 
 
I got her back last Friday afternoon and falsely believed that this was the end of my shit with her. Not to be! Yesterday, she decided in her infinite wisdom, that she has not finished toying with me. She is now refusing to start. Like any troublesome relationship, you have your ups and downs. I'm putting this down to the "Itch" which occurs after some years spent with the same person. I will see this through as I have invested too much time and money in her just to walk away. Maybe, I'm being my usual stubborn self and refusing to let her win. But at the end of the day, she is paid off next year, and I refuse to get into another 6 year higher purchase agreement. I would rather ride a bicyle than spend any more money on a depreciating asset such as a vehicle. The money could rather be used more wisely elsewhere.
 
I would like to have a very long discussion with the designer of this vehicle. What looks good on paper does not neccessarily function well when produced. What really irks me though is the fact that we can send a man to the moon, and return him safely to earth, but we cannot make a car last more than 150000km. Everything is made with built-in redundancies these days. Nothing is made to last. I have replaced nearly everything in that car from bumper to bumper. She may be my Achilles Heel, but I refuse to surrender. At some point the shit has to end, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and I don't believe it's a freight train coming toward me either! I'm putting my Trust and Faith in God and His Universe, that He will help me through this challenging time, and in the end all will be okay!
 
God Bless!

Saturday 3 November 2012

Stalked

About 4 months ago I woke up to the news on Facebook that I was married. Naturally I was very surprised by the news, as I wasn't even in a relationship. Some guy, his name is Shawun McKinney, from Louisville KY, had woken up that day with a hard-on for me and decided I was to be his husband. All I had done, a year earlier was accept his "Friend Request", we'd never actually even chatted in that time, and that was enough for him to decide that I WAS HIS PROPERTY!!! WTF??? Not exactly the traditional way of the fairytale marriage that I have going on in my head!

Now I know it's probably my own fault, because you should not add people you don't know personally. Facebook is, however, a social networking site and in that ethos I have added whoever. I'm a social guy and I have a number of people who follow me on the site. Some I know, some I don't. Even still, it did not give this mentally challenged man the right to assume ownership of me. He even adopted my surname and began telling everyone he was now "Mr Mckinney-Campbell". He had definitely crossed a line with me and I made my feelings very clear to him. I'm also forgiving, thus I did not block him. I did remove him as a friend though. My page is public and he was still able to view it and post on my wall. Through me rejecting him, and hurting his feelings in the process(my heart now pumps custard for him) it has made him ANGRY! 

The last couple of mentions he's made of me, have been negative and derogatory, and I have taken him to task for it. It still did not sink in with him that what he was doing was wrong. Where in your right mind do you treat me like that and expect me to still want to remain friends with you. You are delusional if you cannot treat me the same way you yourself want to be treated. Anyway my time of forgiveness ended, I have since blocked him. Now I'm waiting for him to rock up in SA with long-stemmedred red roses, and a large knife with my name on it. He's got a surprise coming...my knife is BIGGER! Suppose we all have to have a stalker at some stage of our lives. I'm ticking that one off my bucket list now!

Been a hectic week for me. Eventually got my car, "Carrie", back on Thursday. That was not without it's drama either. Gave my magwheel in over 2 weeks ago(South African roads are treacherous to low profile tyres) to get repaired, and it took them longer than they had quoted me to repair it. So that was another fight. Anyway, she's back and I have my independence back to. I hate inconveniencing anyone when it comes to having to get lifts to and from work. In all of this I have not been able to train. You can imagine that my frustration levels have been on the climb. So today after work and my usual afternoon nap I went to gym. The first workout for me in about 4 weeks.

I trained biceps and triceps. Something easy to get me into the routine of training. Feeling my normal self again. It's good to be back! To celebrate I took a pic....


 
 
Long day. Got another busy day ahead tomorrow. Hope you all having a great weekend. I'm calling it a night.


God Bless!

Thursday 1 November 2012

Trust

It takes about 2 days of me being bed-ridden, before cabin-fever the likes of which you have never suffered, set in with me. I cannot take more than 2 days of counting ceiling panels, before I feel like madness is beginning to take hold. In 2 days I've contemplated enough in my own mind to drive me crazy. You get the picture!

I'm the type of guy, that when push comes to shove, I do BOTH! Do not put me in a corner, because eventually I reach a tipping point, and when that is reached, all hell breaks loose. I do my best work under the gun! I'm a control freak and can be slightly impatient. Don't tell me tomorrow, when I know it can be done today. So my patience and independence, has been severely tested the last 2 days. I've had no means of transport or of communicating with the outside world. My Gaurdians decided it time to accomplish 3 things. Firstly, I've been pushing really hard the last 4 weeks. My blog has touched many people's lives, and I'm getting an influx of messages and emails, to which I feel responsible to reply to. Albeit in my own time that I do so, as I am first and foremost a Personal Trainer and need to maintain my income. So, in Their Divine Wisdom, they sought to isolate me, so I can have some down time. All Alone! I'm grateful 2 Them for this.

Secondly, the lesson of me loosing the focus that They have brought to my life. I may not repeat the mistakes of my past. I perpetuated such a sin this weekend, and They sought fit to bring my attention to the fact that my gaze was beginning to wander. I was starting to look left, when I should be "Eyes Front!". Its hard to release the past and it's habit's. I'm human and will  rather "err on the side of Grace", for God's Judgement will be more gracious and importance than that of man's. But I'm learning...but being human I will err!

Thirdly, the path that I walk, for now, will be alone. I need to rediscover who I am. But, in this, I am not alone, for He is always with me. My line of communicating through Prayer, was not taken from me and He awswered this morning when I awoke. I woke up with the determination of the singular wildebeest crossing the Mara River to get things done. I sent out smoke signal's and carrier pigeons to those that would see and receive. My messages were met with answers. I have a very dear friend and client, who willingly brushed aside his day so that he could aid me in my time of need. I'm so very thankful to you Michael, for providing me that life-line I needed to regain control of my life. My second intervention came in the form of a new friend. She's been a pillar of strength for me the last couple weeks. Just knowing there is someone physical standing behind me is of great value. Cindy, for all you have done I cannot thank you enough! You're a sweetheart and I enjoy getting to know you more and more. My third intervention came from my close friends of www.pictura.co.za. Johan called me, and asked me to spend the night with him and his boyfriend, Jan, at their home. It was thoughoughly enjoyable as we relived the events of the photoshoot done just over 2 weeks ago! Some more pics have been posted to my Twitter Account - inkdmscl.

In a specific place, for a specific need, at a specific time and for a specific purpose events occur in my life. My prayers were answered. I trusted in God and his Universe, and the more He answers the more I trust!

God Bless